If you’re wondering how to end a relationship in a respectful manner, it takes a bit of bravery.
In fact, breaking up with someone by texting is a coward’s approach.
And ghosting or ending a relationship by ignoring the other person’s calls or texts demonstrates a shameful disregard for their feelings.
Before it ever comes down to shutting down all communication with a significant other with no word of explanation – even if it’s over for you – try to bow out in a way that’s mindful of your partner’s feelings.
Then, if you happen to run into each other later, you can be civil and maybe even smile at one another to honour the love you once shared.
With that said, here are 10 mindful ways to end a relationship respectfully and preserve each other’s dignity.
1. Acknowledge that your relationship is over.
It seems obvious but in the age of ghosting, perhaps, this first step is often overlooked.
When doing so, try and speak to one another from a place of love. If you’re hurt or angry and feel taken over by your emotions, tell your partner you need some time to process what you’re feeling.
Don’t rush through the conversation.
2. Ask your partner to respect your privacy and alone time.
State your boundaries directly, but compassionately.
You may begin by expressing that if or when you’re ready to talk, you’ll be in touch.
3. Honor their boundaries.
If your partner is the one asking for certain boundaries, honour those wishes.
Even if you may feel bruised and confused, don’t violate their request. You would want the same kind of treatment.
4. If you’re ready to reconnect, keep to the present.
This is especially important, as it’s easy to slingshot back to the past to an incident in which you may have been upset or hurt.
But stay away from making accusations or using the past as ammunition for your present feelings.
Be in the now and in a mindset of clarity-seeking and resolution.
5. Clarify hurt feelings.
If your partner has done something to you that you feel was wrong, state how it made you feel.
Ask what was the reason behind it and how it would feel if the tables were turned.
6. Consider seeking the help of a therapist or life coach.
Enlist help from a professional, especially if you’re unable to get through to one another because your narratives are too different or your resentment is too strong.
Sometimes, it’s better to let an objective professional help you process ending your relationship and mediate giving each person a chance to express their feelings.
7. Offer a way to bring closure.
Ask your partner what you can do to help make the breakup more tolerable for them.
Recognize that it’s a two-way street, so also say what would make it more bearable for you.
8. Put pride on the back-burner.
If you feel that there’s anything you did in the relationship that warrants or deserves an apology, try and swallow your pride and offer one.
Admitting that you’re genuinely sorry can soothe and ameliorate any hurt you may have caused your partner and might make moving on less painful.
9. Be patient in the process of forgiveness.
It might be too soon to forgive your partner for the hurt you feel.
If your partner asks for your forgiveness and you’re not ready to grant it, say that you need time but are open to the possibility down the road.
10. Express gratitude, even if it’s difficult.
When you’ve been hurt, you may tend to shut the other person out or even retaliate through your absence and silence.
But when you’re ready to go your separate ways, wish each other well with sincerity, thanking the person for the good times together, even if you hurt each other.
That’s elevating your relationship to a higher level.
Mindfulness will always help you stay in the present moment with love and non-judgment.
And if you’re able to choose it over hostility, resentment, or judgment, you can experience a greater level of healing and closure.
Ending your relationship mindfully will keep your heart open for another, more compatible, and loving relationship in the future.