You met your dream lover on a Monday night at a social mixer. They couldn’t keep their eyes off you. There was instant chemistry.
They ask you out for Friday night, which appears to be a good sign as it’s one of the weekend evenings. They take your phone number, send you a flirty text message on your ride home, and say they can’t wait until Friday night.
You remember your first kiss the whole ride home. You think about what’s on your calendar in the next week and how you can rearrange your schedule to fit them in, even before your first date.
You call your B.F.F. with great enthusiasm about the new person you have met. Your body tingles with excitement.
Is your imagination getting the best of you? Perhaps. Is this love at first sight, or is your upcoming date adding you to their entourage?
Here are 10 signs you are chasing a player (and they will use you & lose you):
1. They cancel your first date.
Unless they are sick or have a business meeting out of town, your dream date may have been caught up in the moment when they double-booked you.
If you hear excuses like they have the flu or a relative came in from out of town at the last minute, are they actually into you? If they were, they wouldn’t break your first date.
2. They ask you out for weeknight dates only.
If you become the Wednesday night woman, you should wonder what they do on a Friday or Saturday night. After a few dates, it’s only appropriate to be on their calendar during a weekend evening.
3. They don’t introduce you to their friends or family.
After a few months of dating and several conversations about upcoming events with their friends and family they never follow up with you about, don’t believe they are going to those events alone. There’s probably someone else who is higher on their priority list.
You aren’t their number one choice.
Sure, they will sound logical, but their excuses will keep you hanging on promises of another event to make sure they can still get with you.
4. They call you last minute for dates.
If your dream date calls you the day or even the day before a date to get together, don’t get excited and change your plans with your friends to accommodate them. You aren’t a priority if you aren’t on the calendar at least several days beforehand.
They might be asking several people out at the same time. Whoever responds first will be the date of the night.
You have a full life, let them know they need to plan several days if they want to see you.
5. They consistently cancel dates at the last minute.
If you are getting canceled on the day of your date more than once, it’s a red flag. Don’t put up with it.
Trust me, the dog did not eat his calendar.
6. They introduce you as a friend.
If you are dating someone who only calls you their friend, not their lover, significant other, or pet name in public, you’re likely a friend with benefits.
Who cares if they bring you flowers? It’s time to leave your dream world and find a lover who wants to call you their one and only.
7. They disappear for days at a time.
When your lover is M.I.A., especially on the weekends, and then reappears with no explanation as if nothing is wrong, don’t give them the benefit of the doubt.
They’re more than a dating disappearing act. They’re a professional date juggler.
8. They are vague and mysterious.
While you might think it’s alluring to have a little mystery in the relationship when your date is consistently vague about their whereabouts, they’re hiding something.
A person who is into you and isn’t juggling multiple other lovers will have no problem freely sharing their information and will tell the truth. Their stories will be consistent. If you catch them in a lie, the chances are they are lying to other people as well.
9. They often meet “business associates” after business hours.
If your lover consistently goes to business mixers in the evening to meet with potential clients, chances are they’re hooking up or dating other people. They’ll likely be referring to you as the same.
10. They refuse to get tested for an STI/STD.
Don’t buy the line that they aren’t sleeping with anyone else but you.
If you are moving towards an intimate relationship, get tested before a night of passion sweeps you away. Practice safe sex, period.
Don’t have unprotected sex without being tested. It’s about romance, respect, and responsibility. The classic player is likely to be having sex with multiple partners without using protection.
All their partners think they are the only ones. Don’t get caught up in a moment of passion you might regret.
If your new love interest fits into several of these categories, they are likely a serial dater.
Take a look in the mirror and move on. Find a lover excited about introducing you to their friends and proud to have you on their arm.