Calling it a day on your relationship is always going to be tricky, and having ‘the conversation’ is something many of us will go to great lengths to avoid.
Are there any good ways to end a relationship, or will you always walk away being the baddie?
It is certainly a minefield. But the good news is, it isn’t difficult to recognise ways in which to reduce your arsehole rating.
So, if you’re ready to jump but not sure the best way to do it – here are the 10 do’s and don’t’s of how to end a relationship.
1. Do have the dreaded conversation
Urgg, the most grown up and respectful of ways to end a relationship.
Unfortunately, despite the accessibility and ease of modern technology, having the courtesy to explain yourself to someone you’ve spent a significant amount of time with is undoubtedly the best way to walk away.
Be that person.
2. Don’t tailor the break-up so they leave you
Alternatively, without question, the most spineless way to break up with someone – the engineered reverse break-up is the favourite go to for all seasoned arseholes.
For those who have never been on the receiving end, it basically means your boyfriend increases his existing dick-ish-ness to such levels you have no option but to walk away.
Brutal, but depressingly common.
3. Don’t just disappear
Or, as it’s known today, ghosting.
Because, apparently, many people feel that literally disappearing into thin air and erasing all trace of yourself from a person’s life without explanation is acceptable.
Totally dumped
4. Don’t (ish) send a text
It’s quick, it’s easy (for you) and it makes you feel like you’ve wrapped things up in an acceptable way.
It’s spineless, but it’s marginally less spineless than the above.
5. Do be honest
And *never* say it’s not you, it’s me.
Because let’s face it, when he’d rather move back in with his parents than spend another minute in your company – it’s definitely you.
But …
Give it a week, mate
6. Don’t involve other people
The fact you’ve been shagging you colleague for the last 7 months and plan to move in together four days after you’ve dumped your girlfriend is, categorically, not information she needs right now.
Fine tune your filter.
7. Don’t suggest staying friends
It is only the very rarest of situations that people can be friends immediately after a break-up.
I can pretty safely guarantee, yours is not one of them.
Suggesting you stay friends either means you’ll be giving the dumpee fresh hope of a reunion or you’re keeping them on the back burner for a booty call – neither of which are conducive to a clean break up.
8. Do be decisive
You’re either in or out mate, this is not the hooky-kooky.
9. Do let them be angry
And use colourful language in the middle of the pub.
Should you want to avoid this situation, don’t dump them in a pub.
10. Don’t initiate one last shag
Because as dramatic/tempting/easy as a goodbye shag is, it is also possibly the biggest dick-move there is.
And no, the dumpee pleading for you to stay the night does not make it ok.